Guilty

It's exam period, everyone is mugging. I just found myself really lost the motivation, and I myself is blameable. Sometimes, I want to study hard, play hard, live a meaningful life, these are what I want, very simple, but I just can't concentrate. There are too many distractions.
I wish someone would teach me self-discipline, it can't be taught though. A slacker is yelling for help, that's funny.
This beautiful evening, when everyone is studying, everything seems so peaceful, I got my parents' call. They sounded distant. My dad tried to explain why they are not coming in December, he gave ridiculous reasons. I was unhappy, my father still doesn't believe that his daughter is a grown-up already. They don't understand me now, I just hope they come here and have a look, perhaps after that they will have a rough idea how this place looks like and how I'm doing here. Unfortunately they seem to have their difficulties. Lesley said that I should "think in their shoes", I did, and felt guilty. I wish I will be successful in future, and I'm able to bring them here for a tour, not asking them to come. I mean, I will pay everything. But now, I'm on loan, where the hell I have the right to say so? Fiancial problem, that's a really funny term.